Ein echtes Traumscript!

[DSB]

Ich habe endlich das wirkliche und einzig wahre Traumscript gefunden.
Nirgendwo passt dieses Script besser als in die Traumscript-Ecke.

Hier ein funktionstüchtiges Traumscript für Schlaflose (ich habe es getestet und es funktioniert wirklich!):

while(!asleep) { 
    $sheep ++; 
}

[ingo]

hast du zuviel bier geraucht?

[DSB]

hast du zuviel bier geraucht?

Spielverderber!
Ich fands lustig.

[ingo]

uuups, sorry

[miraculix]

Ich habe endlich das wirkliche und einzig wahre Traumscript gefunden.
Nirgendwo passt dieses Script besser als in die Traumscript-Ecke.

Hier ein funktionstüchtiges Traumscript für Schlaflose (ich habe es getestet und es funktioniert wirklich!):

while(!asleep) { 
    $sheep ++; 
}

*lol* werds heut mal testen

[mixabit]

Hehe, erinnert mich an:

while (!dead) {
jahre++;
}

[steffenk]

Da fällt mir doch glatt der Windows 98 - Source ein, der ist so ähnlich

Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE ***
Project: Version - Windows 98

Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE):

#include 
#include 
#include  /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
#include  /* For the court of law */

#define say(x) lie(x)
#define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define next_year soon
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version

void main(){

 if (latest_window_version>one_month_old) {
   if (there_are_still_bugs) {
     market(bugfix);
   }
   if (sales_drop_below_certain_point) {
     raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
   }
 }

 while(everyone_chats_about_new_version) {
   make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in lie.h */
   
   if (rumours_grow_wilder) {
     make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
     if (rumours_grow_even_wilder) {
       market_time=ripe;
       say("It will be ready in one month);
       order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
       order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
       order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
       vapourware=TRUE;
       break;
     }
   }
 }

 switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress) {
   case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
   say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");
   break;

   case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:
   say("Yes it will work");
   ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
   pretend(there_is_no_problem);
   break;

   case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
   say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to the 32 bits architecture");
   inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
   inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant 'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");
   inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
   get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);
   break;

   case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
   say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for everyone");
   register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
 }
 
 when(time_is_ripe) {
   arrest(journalist);
   brainwash(journalist);
   when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree) {
 	 order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");
 	 release (journalist);
   }
 }
 
 break;

 while (vapourware) {
   introduction_date++; /* Delay */
   if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
   break;
   say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);
 }

 release(beta_version)

 while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware) {
   bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
   release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
   introduce(more_memory_requirements);
   if (customers_report_installation_problems) {
     say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");
       if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play) {
         ignore(customer);
         order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this bastard");
       }
   }
 }
 
 if (there_is_another_company) {
   steal(their_ideas);
   accuse(company, stealing_our_ideas);
   hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
   wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
   buy_out(other_company);
 }

 /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at us */
 order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
 buy(nice_little_island);
 hire(harem);
 laugh_at(everyone, for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);

}


void bugfix(void){
 charge (a_lot_of_money)
 if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix) {
   say("It is not a bugfix but a new version");
   if (still_complaints) {
     ignore(customer);
     register(customer, big_Bill_book);
     /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/
   }
 }
}